THE SPACE PIRATES.
WELL, HERE WE GO KIDS, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,……
TRAPPED
ON THE PLANET MAROON BALLOON,
Take off with the adventures of the space pie rotters, featuring Captain John E. Sterling and his trusty side split trusty first mate firsty mate Gregson.
UPDATE;
The Tara Candy is a shape shifting platinum spaceship. It is currently sitting uselessly on the useless planet maroon balloon.
The current status of this most remarkable ship is stolen.
The stealers, or ship thieves, Captain Sterling and First Mate Gregson are trying to use their limited brain power to think of ways to escape from the useless purple Planet.
Now is good time to mention that this super ship was stolen from the rough planet of Tag. Bad deals, some other shag with the good people of tag meant that all of a sudden the space gits had to get off planet quickly, so they stole a space ship. The exact details of this will be told at a later date. Safe to say, the Tags are mega pissed off and are chasing said gits around the local system. So after a brief chase and a few dodgy evasive tactics, the rubbishy pair managed to crash the excellent space ship on the purple planet. When you steal a spaceship that is so far advanced that you have very little idea how to use it, and most of the first hour of escaping was spent trying to find the instruction manual unsuccessfully, bad things are bound to happen.
TOTAL ENGINE FAILURE, CRAPPED OUT DEFLECTOR SHIELDS, now this happened mainly because the Captain ordered all of the deflector power to the front of the ship just before crashing, and basically broke it. To be fair he was trying his best to pilot the ship and he and firsty were sitting at the control deck, which is at the front of the ship. One good thing apart from not dying was the fact that the amazing view window was not damaged. The captain had taken quite a shine to it in their brief flight. " Wow, that's quite a groovy view shield." Firsty remembered the Captain saying just as the first bolt hit their stern, and then, "This thing is hard, Firsty see if there is an instruction manual lying around."
And so here we are;
ONCE UPON A PURPLE PLANET.
A Planet wide recon expedition executed by the ships Robots proved fruitless. Apart from a few missing, others acting very strangely upon their return, and confirmation that there is nothing to do on this Planet. They also found nothing to eat, no fuel of any sort, no interesting creatures, no treasure to plunder, no enemies to fight, no pubs, curry houses, e.t.c.
DAMAGE REPORT;
Total engine and general power failure, no rum found, or ale. Also no food as yet, e.t.c.
THE MAIN DECK;
Captain Sterling sat in what was obviously the Captains chair, the biggest and in the middle. First mate Gregson sat in a slightly smaller chair to captains left. They both stared out of the groovy view screen at the inane purpleness of the planet.
Captain Sterling breathed in long and noisily, then said, "You know Firsty, we really should get off this boring Planet."
Firsty nodded, hoping for a bit more than the totally obvious
from his Captain. "I think our best bet is to get the engine going again." Again Firsty agreed, but again found the statement sadly lacking in plan substance. So Firsty finds himself off to the engine room with his limited tools and the last instructions from his Captain ringing around his head, 'sort the bastard thing out'.
Firsty wandered around trying to find the engine room, a task in itself, on a strange ship with no signs of any sort in any language, and not for the last time Gregson cursed his Captain for stealing a ship with no instruction manual.
OOOH! IT IS EXCITING, OR IS IT?, ANY WAY TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOLKS FOR ANOTHER WHAT THE FUCK? EPISODE OF THE THRILLING SERIAL,………THE SPACE PIRATES.

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